


Childhood Secrets

by boredomsMuse



Series: Central Born, LA Raised [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends AU, Gen, Joe doesn't raise Barry, Len is born is 1988, M/M, Pre-Canon, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: Barry doesn'twantto leave Central City.But what he wants doesn't really matter.  The fact is that Henry Allen has a sister, one that lives in LA, and she has more claim to him than Joe.Growing up in LA certainly changes things for Barry, especially after he mets one Felicity Smoak.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Felicity Smoak, Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen & Joe West, Barry Allen & Lisa Snart, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Felicity Smoak & Leonard Snart, Felicity Smoak & Lisa Snart
Series: Central Born, LA Raised [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900780
Comments: 12
Kudos: 211





	Childhood Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I started watching The Flash recently and I just, wasn't convinced Barry and Iris grew up together. They don't act like people that grow up together. Felicity and Barry act more like childhood friends than Barry and Iris.
> 
> I said this to my friend, who agreed, and then this happened.  
> Also then I decided to get really self-indulgent with it and decided to make Len only a year older than Barry and have _them_ meet in LA too.
> 
> Please enjoy

When Barry Allen is eleven, his mum is murdered.

The sound of screaming wakes him up but Barry doesn’t think he’s awake, not with the way the aquarium water is drifting up and up and up. He makes his way downstairs, confused and curious, and then he finds his mum surrounded by lightning.  _ It’s a nightmare _ , he tells himself even as he screams,  _ this can’t be real _ .

He runs twenty blocks that night, gone in the blink of an eye after seeing that man in the lightning. 

Barry doesn’t wake up while he’s staring at his mother's lifeless face. He doesn’t wake up when the police take his statement, only to shout and demand the truth when he tells them about the man that killed his mother.

He doesn’t wake up, even when he’s sitting on the bench in the police station. Kicked out of the interview room when the police officers got fed up with him.

“Barry.” Joe kneels before him, a familiar enough face with all the time Barry has spent at Iris’ house.

“My dad didn’t do it.” Barry sniffles for the thousandth time that night. “It was the man in the lightning.” Joe sets his jaw in a way that makes Barry’s shoulders drop. “You don’t believe me.”

“I believe that’s what you think you saw.” Joe says. “But you’ve been through a lot tonight Barry and the mind plays a lot of tricks.” It’s not the answer Barry wants but it’s a better answer than anyone else has given tonight.

“My dad didn’t hurt my mum.” Barry says.

“And if that’s true, we’ll find who did it.” Joe promises. “But until then, you’re going to have to stay with me and Iris for a bit.” 

“I want to stay with my dad.” Barry protests. He wants to get angry, he wants to scream and shout until someone listens to him. Hopelessness is all he can find, settling in his chest.

“I know, kid.” Joe sighs. “But your dad needs to stay in custody until we can figure out what happened.”

“I already told you what happened.” Barry argues.

“But the evidence hasn’t.” Joe claims. “We’ve got to listen to whatever the evidence says, then we can sort all this out. Can you stay with me until then?”

“...Okay.” Barry sniffles.

The evidence doesn’t sort anything out. His father goes to prison. Nobody listens when Barry screams that his father’s innocent, nobody listens when he tells them about the man in the lightning.

Not even Joe.

Joe doesn’t even let him see his dad. So Barry does what he always has. He runs, and he runs, and he  _ runs _ until finally he outruns Joe.

“I don’t want you to see me like this Barry.” His dad says. He holds Barry tight as the guards don’t listen, he holds Barry tight and promises that everything’ll be okay. “Joe’s going to look after you, okay?”

Joe and Barry are silent as they get into the car, they’re silent as they drive away from Iron Heights. Eventually Barry can’t handle the silence anymore.

“Are you mad at me?” He asks. 

“I’m not mad at you Barry.” Joe sighs, his hands tightening on the wheel. “I get that it’s hard. You love your dad, you don’t want to lose him too.”

“He didn’t hurt my mum.” Barry says, because this sounds too much like ‘but you have to accept the truth’ lecture. Joe’s lips press tight for a moment, then he sighs again.

“Barry, your dad has a sister. Her name’s Carol. She lives in LA.” He says.

“So?” Barry frowns. Dad’s never mentioned an aunt before, he can’t see why she matters now.

“She’s coming to pick you up in a couple of days.” Joe’s words are like a bucket of ice water.

“What?” Barry manages, his throat suddenly feeling dry. Joe takes an unsteady breath, his eyes focused on the road.

“She’s your family Barry, she’ll be able to look after you.” He says.

“I’ve never even met her!” Barry argues. When Joe has nothing to say, Barry slumps in his seat. “Is it because I kept running away?” He mumbles. “I can do better.”

“It’s not like that Barry.” Joe assurances, none of the hesitance his voice had a moment ago. “If I could, I’d be happy to raise you. But the court thinks it’s better if Carol takes you in because she’s blood. They’d have decided that no matter what you did.” 

“But what if she’s horrible? What if she hates me?” Barry asks. He doesn’t want to leave Central City, he doesn’t want to leave his dad. But Barry doesn’t think that matters to adults. Even Joe.

“If that happens you tell me, yeah?” Joe says, taking his eyes off the road for a second to give Barry a firm look. “If she does anything, I’ll come get you in a heartbeat and we’ll figure the rest out after. But you have to give her a chance Barry, this could be a fresh start.” 

Barry doesn’t want a fresh start. He wants things to go back to how they used to be, when his mum was alive and his dad wasn’t in prison. 

But Barry doesn’t think that matters to adults.

* * *

LA is nothing like Central City. It’s too loud and bright and there’s too many people. Aunt Carol’s apartment is just as strange to him. Small and cramped, with walls so thin he can hear the neighbours screaming and a street right outside his window that never goes dark. 

There’s a lock on that window, and there’s a lock on his bedroom door. Barry has control over neither lock.

“While you’re living under my roof, you’ll obey my rules.” Carol warned on day one. “I’m not housing a pig, you’d better clean up after yourself. This ain’t a charity either, so you’d better pull your weight. Most importantly, I don’t want to hear a word about your father. He’s a murderer and I don’t want to hear another else. Definitely not those delusions you’re having.” 

“He’s not a murderer!” Barry argued. He spent most of day one locked in his room, in ‘timeout’ as Carol called it.

He’s spent a lot of time in ‘timeout’. 

Joe called after the first week, wanting to see how he was settling in, and Barry told him all about it. Except Joe just said he’d ‘talk to Carol’ and Barry spent all of the next day locked in his room.

Well, if Joe wasn’t going to help him Barry would help himself. Carol works nights and she doesn’t bother to lock his door if she thinks he’s asleep. So Barry waits, still as a board in bed, until he hears the front door close. He waits another fifteen minutes and then he slips out of the apartment. There has to be a train station somewhere, right? He can get to Central City on a train.

Carol isn’t happy when the police drag him back a few hours later. She’s less happy a week later, when Barry manages to brunt force the lock on his door and run away again. The third time, she gives up leaving him in the apartment.

The casino that Carol works at is the centre of too loud and too bright. She drags Barry through the crowd, glaring at anyone that gives him odd looks. When they reach the staff room she all but shoves him in.

“Stay here until my shift is over.” She orders. “I’ve already warned the guards on duty that you might sneak off so don’t even try it.” Without waiting for a reply, she leaves the staff room in a huff. Barry considers running away despite the threat, but decides he doesn’t know the casino layout well enough to get away with it. 

Unfortunately, there’s not really anything else to do. There’s no one and nothing in the staff room, just some chairs and a table. With a sigh, Barry decides to sit and starts going through as many numbers of pi as he can remember. 

He’s about a hundred numbers in when the door opening startles him into looking up. A girl about his age is standing in the doorway, looking just as confused as he is.

“What are you doing here?” The dark-haired girl asks.

“My aunt works here.” Barry shrugs. He doesn’t really like calling Carol his aunt, she definitely doesn’t act like family, but it’s the easiest explanation.

“My uh, my mum does too. At the bar.” The girl says, pointing towards what Barry can only guess is the bar. “I hang around sometimes, you?”

“This is the first time.” Barry says. Hopefully the last, but he’s starting to doubt it. 

“It’s nice to meet you then. My name’s Felicity Smoak.” The girl says, stepping forward to offer her hand.

“Barry Allen.” He returns, shaking it. He braces himself, waiting for Felicity to react. She doesn’t. Back home, hearing his name would make adults recoil and classmates turn mean. But here, no one knows about Dr. Allen or his son. 

“So Barry Allen, what were you doing for fun in here?” Felicity asks. “Usually I bring my homework but I didn’t have anything today.”

“Oh, uh, I was counting pi. The mathematical formula, not the food.” He says. Felicity’s eyes light up. They spend the rest of the night talking maths and trying to trip each other up with equations. When Barry’s aunt comes to get him, he has to make a hasty goodbye as she glares at them both.

“I don’t want you going near that girl.” Aunt Carol orders once they get in the car.

“Why not?” Barry frowns.

“Don’t talk back to me kid.” Aunt Carol snaps. “Those Smoak girls are nothing but trouble. Her mum’s a deadbeat that spends more time flirting to get tips than she does working. Her daughter’s going to end up just like here.” 

_ All we did was talk about maths _ , Barry wants to say. He doesn’t. If there’s one thing Carol has taught him since he arrived, it’s to keep his mouth shut.

The next night, Aunt Carol dumps him in the same room with the same warning before starting her shift. This time Felicity is already sitting in a chair. 

“Hey.” She greets, when Aunt Carol’s disappeared.

“Hi.” Barry returns.

“My mum doesn’t want me talking to you. She doesn’t like your aunt.” Felicity tells him.

“My aunt doesn’t like your mum.” Barry returns. For a moment they’re both silent, their eyes locked. Then they break out into grins. “Want to be best friends?” Barry asks.

“Definitely.” 

* * *

They become best friends out of spite, but the spite doesn’t last long. Soon their friendship is built on science and mathematics and pouring themselves over every book their school libraries will give them. They aren’t drawn to the same studies but that hardly matters, they’ve never met someone as alike to themselves. It takes no time at all for them to  _ really _ become best friends.

Barry hopes Iris doesn’t mind. He and Felicity just have so much more in common than they did. Iris was kind and she liked to play tag and she liked the experiments he made on the playground, but school bored Iris like it did most kids. Which means Barry bored her, sometimes, when he started rambling about  _ why _ the soda bottle just shot up into the air. Felicity never gets bored when he talks, she adds on and almost talks over him she’s so excited about the topic.

He doesn’t think Iris would mind that. She’s still his best friend in Central City, just not his best friend in the whole world anymore.

Still, Barry doesn’t mention Felicity in his letters or the few times they talk on the phone. Just in case.

* * *

“Do you believe in magic?” Felicity asks, looking particularly annoyed one afternoon. They aren’t at the casino, for once, but at a public park that’s easy enough to get to after school. Aunt Carol doesn’t like when Barry stays out late but he told her he joined a chess club. 

“Why?” Barry frowns, confused. 

“Because the girls at my school are idiots.” Felicity huffs, falling to the ground next to him. “They think that magic’s real and that if you just wish on a star you’ll get everything you want in life.”

“That doesn’t work.” Barry says. He tried, right after everything went wrong. His mum used to say fairy godmothers lived on stars, so Barry begged them to bring his parents back. They never did.

“I told them that!” Felicity says. “But they said I was just jealous because magic wouldn’t work for me, which is obvious because magic isn’t real. Right?” Barry hesitates and Felicity frowns deeper. “Don’t tell me you believe in magic too.” She grumbles.

“I don’t know.” Barry shrugs. “It doesn’t work if you wish on stars but my mum used to say magic was real and…” He trails off, frowning. Felicity knows his mum is dead, she knows the police think his dad did it. She doesn’t know about the man in the lightning, Barry has been too scared to tell her.

“But what?” Felicity presses when he doesn’t continue. Barry hesitates a moment more than takes a deep breath.

“I saw the man that hurt my mum.” He says, bracing himself for Felicity’s reaction. “The room was full of lightning, and I could see a man in it. He’s the person that hurt her, but no one ever believed me.” 

“Well I don’t think it was magic.” Felicity claims. “It had to be technology. Maybe he had a super computer, one that could make it look like there was a storm in the room.”

“It wasn’t a storm. Just lightening.” Barry shakes his head. “I guess it was sort of like a tornado, everything was flying around.”

“Hm.” Felicity pauses for a moment, thinking. Then her face lights up. “Maybe he was just moving really fast.” 

“Moving really fast?” Barry repeats as he considers it. It… makes sense, really. The man could have been moving so fast that he was just a blur, and that would explain the wind. But still… “How?”

“I don’t know that yet.” Felicity shrugs. “But we’ll figure it out. Come on, I’m pretty sure there’s a library nearby.” She says, jumping back up. For a moment all Barry can do is stare. No one’s ever… well, no one’s ever  _ believed  _ him. Let alone wanted to help him. “Barry?”

“Right, yeah, let’s go.” Barry shakes his thoughts from his head, following her down the streets of LA.

* * *

The first time Felicity sneaks into his room, Barry nearly has a heart attack.

Well, actually, he nearly has a heart attack when he first blurts out the foolhardy plan. After Felicity checks the time and realizes her mother’s shift ended an hour ago. After they check the whole casino only to realize that Donna Smoak is gone, forgetting entirely about her daughter.

“It’s okay.” Felicity says, looking anything but okay. “It’s not the first time. The security guards are usually pretty nice, they let me sleep in the backroom.”

“You could stay at my aunt’s place.” Barry blurts out, because the idea of leaving Felicity in the casino makes him recoil.

“She’d never let me.” Felicity points out.

“She doesn’t have to know.” Barry continues, his brain moving too fast for his fear to stop it. “The boot of her car is busted, it’ll open up with a good wack. You sneak in and then when we get to the apartment you can come up the fire escape. I’ll pick the lock on my window.” 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Felicity asks, hesitating even as some of the weight lifts off her shoulders.

“As long as we don’t get caught.” Barry shrugs. “And we won’t, Aunt Carol’s always exhausted after work.”

They don’t get caught. Felicity sneaks into the back of the car five minutes before Aunt Carol’s shift ends, and then she sneaks out five minutes after they get to the apartment. By the time she makes it up the fire escape, Barry has picked the lock and Aunt Carol is snoring loudly through the tin walls.

“That was terrifying.” Barry breaths, finally letting himself relax.

“Yeah, especially from the boot. Your aunt is a terrifying driver.” Felicity says. Silence creeps in. Felicity’s never been in Barry’s room, and he’s never been in her’s. They can’t help but be a little awkward about it. They’re thirteen now, and the school ground has all sorts of whispers about what this is meant to mean.

“Uh, do, do you wanna see the research I’ve been doing?” Barry asks, gesturing to a scroll up map he’s got on the wall. “A-about speed.”

“Of course!” Felicity agrees, a little more strained than usual. Nodding, Barry forgets to move for a minute before rushing over to lift the map and reveal the mess of papers it was hiding.

“Since we disproved the idea he was using something tech-based, I’ve been looking into other ways you can enhance your speed.” Barry stumbles his way through the sentence, even though Felicity already knows this. “I’ve done some research about ways to physically increase your speed, but I guess that obviously wasn’t the answer, so I’ve started looking through the chemical reaction of speed. I’ve already done a lot of research on what the body needs, but I’ve just started looking into the brain chemicals too. You can’t move faster than your brain thinks about moving, right? And really you can’t move faster than your brain can think about controlled movement.” Felicity starts pitching in then and within five minutes they’ve forgotten they were ever awkward at all.

* * *

Felicity was right. Most of the security guards are nice. They let Barry into their backroom, with it’s shift bed and tv. Even let him have some of their dinner. He doesn’t think the shows they watch are really appropriate for his age but, well, who’s he to complain?

“They must be working the waitress’ pretty hard if they’re forgetting their kids.” One of the guards, George, jokes. Barry laughs with him even though he knows Aunt Carol didn’t forget him. 

She left him there on purpose.

* * *

Barry prefers to spend summer days in the library, reading books on chemistry or forensic science and listening to the police scanner that Felicity jerry-rigged for him. Unfortunately, Aunt Carol doesn’t like to leave him home alone when she’s got a longer shift. Convinced Barry will do something to the apartment if she does. Those days he spends sitting around the casino, watching the poker games and trying to count cards as well as Felicity can.

Today is one such day, but at least Felicity is here to laugh at his attempts. They’re sitting against a wall, keeping their heads down and sipping lemonades in fancy glasses. It’s still just as loud as when he was a kid, but Barry’s gotten used to it.

“Man, I thought I had it that time.” Barry groans, watching the man he picked as ‘best hand’ reveal he has nothing. 

“I think I’m bi.” Felicity blurts out, so off topic that Barry startles. “I mean, I uh, I’m bi. I know I am.” She adds, mumbling.

“Oh thank god.” Is the first thing out of Barry’s mouth. It’s definitely not what he meant to say, and probably not what Felicity wanted to hear passed on her expression. “Sorry! I just, I’m uh, I’m also bi is what I meant, and so I’m glad you are too. Um.” For a minute they both just stare at each other, and then they burst out laughing.

“Do you think we’ll ever get better at talking?” Felicity teases, leaning against his shoulder.

“Based on all available research, not at all.” Barry laughs, leaning his head on hers. “In fact, if I ever get good at talking I want you to know I’ve probably been replaced by an alien.”

“If I get replaced, I want it to be by a robot.” Felicity says.

“But imagine the scientific discovery!” Barry argues. “It’d be proof of aliens!”

“And my way would be proof of an advanced AI!” Felicity returns.

* * *

They try dating, when they’re fourteen. It feels expected, because they’re best friends and they get on so well. 

A month later, they give up. They just keep  _ forgetting _ . And when they do remember, things are suddenly so terribly awkward as they try to fit themselves into people they aren’t.

“I just don’t get it.” Barry sighs. They’re laying on the floor of Felicity’s floor, her mother who knows where. “I mean, we’re perfect for each other, aren’t we?”

“I think so?” Felicity frowns, just as annoyed as he is. “I mean, we get on so well and we like all the same things!”

“And I like kissing you? But not making out with you? And I don’t? I don’t understand?” Barry complains. “On paper, we’re soulmates.”

“We tick all the boxes!” Felicity declares.

“Oh my god.” Barry says as a realization hits him.

“What?” Felicity frowns, turning her head to meet his eyes.

“We’re talking about us dating like it’s a scientific experiment.” He says. Felicity blinks as she comes to the same realization. When they’re done laughing, they agree it’s not an experiment worth repeating.

* * *

“Hey there.” Barry greets a little awkwardly, kneeling down to be eye-level with the little girl who’s crying on the side of the casino. She can’t be older than eight, definitely too young to be left alone in a casino. 

“What’s wrong?” Felicity asks from Barry’s left. “Can we help?” For a moment the girl is quiet and Barry worries that they’ve crowded her. Are they standing close? Should he back up?

“I can’t find my big brother.” The little girl sniffles. “Daddy’s playing games and Lenny and I were going back to the hotel, but I lost his hand.”

“Where was the last place you saw him?” Barry asks. “We can help you find him.” After the little girl has pointed in a direction, Barry and Felicity each take one of her hands and lead her that way. They chat as they walk, helping the girl calm down. She tells them her name’s Lisa and her dad come out to LA for a job. Barry and Felicity are sharing a look at that, when Lisa suddenly tugs at their hands.

“There he is!” She says, letting go of Barry’s hand to point. There’s a boy about their age, maybe a year or two older, standing in front of an ‘employees only’ door. Or really, being held in front of an ‘employees only’ door by George the security guard.

That’s the door to the camera room.

Barry’s pretty sure he knows what kind of job Lisa’s dad is here for.

“George doesn’t look too happy.” Felicity mumbles.

“I’ve got a plan.” Barry says. “Take Lisa back to the bar break room, I’ll meet you there.” Felicity eyes him a moment, probably to make sure he really does have a plan, then she nods.

“Come on Lisa, want to see where Barry and I hang out?” She asks, grinning down at Lisa.

“What about Lenny?” Lisa asks, looking back to her brother as Felicity starts to lead her away.

“He’ll be fine, he’s got Barry to look after him.” Felicity assures. Barry waits another moment, just to be sure that George won’t see the girls retreating, then runs towards Lenny and the security guard.

“Lenny!” He exclaims as he reaches them, startling both. “There you are!” He stops, making a show of catching his breath. 

“You know this kid Barry?” George asks, frowning. “He was trying to sneak into the camera room.”

“I am  _ so  _ sorry George.” Barry says. “He’s from my class and we’re meant to be doing a school project and I told him to meet me here, but I was running late and I guess he came in to look for me and I am so sorry.” He lies, words tumbling over themselves as he rambles. 

“If he was looking for you, why was he all the way over here?” George huffs. “Your aunt is a cocktail waitress, not a guard.”

“Well Barry didn’t tell me that.” Lenny claims, thankfully playing along. “All I knew was that she worked here.”

“I didn’t think it’d matter, I thought I’d be on time for once!” Barry defends.

“Now that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told Barry.” George teases, letting go of Lenny. “I’ll let it slide this time, but keep your friends away from the camera room Barry. And get off the show floor quickly, you know the rules.” 

“We will, thanks George, sorry again!” Barry says, in one breath, as he grabs Lenny’s arm and pulls him away from George and the camera room quickly. Once they’re out of sight, the other teen talks.

“So,” he starts, “not that I don’t appreciate the rescue but how do you know my name?” 

“My friend Felicity and I saw your sister crying because she couldn’t find you.” Barry explains and then stumbles, frowning. “But I uh, I guess that was just a set up, right? Because she mentioned your dad was here on a job, and you were definitely trying to get into the camera room. Unless I’m making assumptions, uh, which I guess I could be, but I don’t think I am?”

“I see the rambling before wasn’t just because you were lying.” The teen drawls, making Barry wince. “If you had me all figured out Barry, why’d you step in?”

“Well… I guess what you were planning to do can’t really happen now anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Barry shrugs. From the way Lenny raises an eyebrow, he doesn’t buy that logic either. 

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it.” Thankfully, he doesn’t push it either. “But just to set the record straight, the name’s Leonard, Len for short if you must. Not Lenny.” 

“Right, sorry.” Barry says, face flushing.

“So, Barry, why exactly are you still leading me?” Len asks, raising an eyebrow and reminding Barry that he’s still holding onto the other teen wrist. Flushing darker, he drops Len’s wrist with lightning speed.

“Uh, the, the back room. A different backroom. The one by the bar. Since my aunt’s a cocktail waitress that’s where I usually hang out. With Felicity, her mum works here too. I mean we don’t  _ always _ hang out here, sometimes we hang out at the library and stuff, it’s just where we hang out when we’re at the casino. Everyone knows us, so it’s usually fine, but I mean it’s kinda weird to see some kids running around like they own the place, right?” Barry rambles, the whole time wishing he could just shut his mouth. Preferably forever. He’d also accept having the world swallow him whole right about now.

“That’s nice.” Anytime now world, Barry is ready to sink into the abyss. “But why are you taking me there?”

“Oh! Oh right! That’s uh, where your sister is. I figured George wouldn’t believe me if he saw Felicity and your sister standing nearby, so they came back here.” He finally explains, right as they reach the door. “Uh, after you.” He says, pushing the door open and gesturing for Len to go first. Before Len can make the snarky comment that deserves, Lisa pokes her head into the hall.

“Lenny!” She exclaims, all but running into him when she wraps her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“There’s nothing to apologize for Lisa.” Len assures. For a moment, Barry just stares at the soft expression in his face. Then Len meets his eye and Barry smartly looks away.

“So this is the great Lenny.” Felicity says, stepping out of the break room. “Uh, by which I mean your sister talks about you a lot. I don’t actually know you. Not that I wouldn’t mind knowing you, you sound nice.” For a moment Len stares at her with the most unimpressed expression on his face.

“Are you both always this awkward?” He eventually asks.

“Yeah.” Felicity says, drawing out the word as Barry says, “pretty much.”

“I’m almost impressed.” He does not look impressed.

“Hey, don’t be mean.” Lisa pouts, looking up her brother. “They were nice.”

“Nice was not what we were after Lisa.” Len points out. “This will be a fun one to explain to dad.” Barry’s not sure he meant to say that outloud, and he’s not sure Felicity really understands. Still, her face shifts from confused to determined as she recognizes his tone. 

“What’s your dad’s name? What does he look like?” Felicity asks, stepping into Len’s space as an idea hits her.

“Excuse me?” Len frowns. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“He’s playing the tables, right? What’s his name?” Felicity presses without explaining.

“Lewis Snart.” Lisa answers. “He’s playing poker.”

“Lisa.” Len hisses but Felicity hardly notices.

“Perfect.” She says, rushing passed the siblings and Barry. 

“For the record, I also have no idea what she’s doing.” Barry declares when she’s gone. Len sets his jaw and Barry’s worried he might be planning a murder. He really hopes Felicity knows what she’s doing. 

When Felicity returns, only a few minutes later, she’s grinning ear to ear.

“It’s sorted. Your dad is going to get too drunk to remember the weekend and Barry you’re doing Alice’s math homework for a week.” She announces.

“What? Why me?” Barry whines.

“Because I find it boring.” Felicity says. “You’d think college maths would be more interesting.”

“And Alice is?” Len prompts, still frowning.

“Another waitress.” Felicity explains. “She’s got the long shift, so she’ll make sure your dad gets enough drinks he’ll pass out as soon as he gets to the hotel. Maybe sooner.” This time, Len doesn’t look quite so unimpressed as he stares. 

“See, I told you they were nice.” Lisa says, looking rather smug with herself even as she clings to her brother.

“Yes, I suppose they were.” Len says, grumbling almost. “Thank you. For your help.” He adds.

“Don’t strain yourself.” Barry teases, and then immediately flounders when Len looks at him. “Uh, you’ll probably want to hang around here for awhile. Just in case Goerge is keeping an eye out.”

“Obviously.” Len agrees. 

“Can’t we go back to the hotel?” Lisa asks, looking up with the most effective puppy dog eyes that Barry has ever seen. And he barely saw them.

“If we leave together it should be fine?” Barry offers. “He’ll probably just think we went to work on our project somewhere else.” Lisa lights up at the idea.

“Yes!” She says. “Can they come to the hotel Lenny? Pretty please?” 

“That’s not my decision to make Lisa.” Len points out. Barry is immediately hit with the full-force of those puppy dog eyes. He doesn’t stand a chance.

“Please?” She asks, drawing the word out as she looks between the friends.

“If Len doesn’t mind it’s alright.” Barry gives in quickly. “I just have to be back before my aunt’s shift ends.”

“I’m in!” Felicity smiles. 

“In that case, I suppose it is my turn to lead.” Len sighs, sounding rather put upon.

“We, uh, we don’t have to come if you don’t want us to.” Barry quickly assures. For a moment Len hesitates, maybe considering it, then he shrugs.

“It’s fine. Some new company might be nice.” He claims, leading them back out into the casino.

“I’m half convinced this guy is a vampire.” Felicity whispers to Barry as they follow. Lisa is keeping Len busy, recounting how Felicity and Barry ‘saved’ her. 

“What?” Barry frowns. “Why?”

“Barry, he talks like he just stepped out of the nineteenth century.” Felicity claims.

“I don’t know.” Len speaks up, proving he wasn’t as distracted as they thought. “My manner of speech gets me invited in almost anywhere.”

“It definitely doesn’t get you out-” Barry pauses mid-tease, his brain taking another second to buffer. Invited in. “Was that a vampire pun?”

“I plead the fifth.” Len says, the barest hint of a smirk on his face.

* * *

The hotel isn’t pretty. It’s small and cold, and definitely not up to code. Lisa hardly seems to notice, pulling Felicity through the door immediately. Len’s not so unaware. Barry sees the way his lips twitch down, just a tiny bit, as he opens the door.

“Still nicer than my apartment.” Barry jokes, hoping it’ll help. And also because it’s kind of true.

“I love the lack of conspiracies on the wall. Gives it a homely feel.” Felicity teases. 

“Hey!” Barry exclaims, only half playing up his offence.

“Oh come on Barry, a spiderweb is nicer than your apartment. Less strings too.” Felicity claims.

“Do you want to play dolls?” Lisa asks, tugging again at Felicity’s hand but looking at the boys as she speaks. “I brought enough, we can all play.”

“Sure.” Felicity agrees, shrugging. “Sounds like fun.”

“For the record,” Barry starts as he and Len move to join the girls, “I don’t have a conspiracy board. I mean, I have an evidence board, but that’s, that’s totally different.”

“Sure it is Barry.” Len assures, voice the furthest thing from assuring as possible.

“It’s really not.” Felicity calls out then pauses. “Oh, you were, you were being sarcastic, obviously. Hey, let’s play dolls!”

* * *

They play for a few hours until Lisa tires herself out, curling up against Barry as she falls asleep. Barry really shouldn’t have let her, he needs to get back to the casino before his aunt leaves. Still, he didn’t  _ actually _ protest. For… reasons.

“Seeming as my weekend no long involves a grand heist or a prison cell, what is there to do for fun around here?” Len asks, leaning back against the wall.

“Uhh…” Barry and Felicity respond in kind, sharing a questioning glance. When they both determine that no, neither of them have a secret life that involves something cooler than the library, Felicity speaks up.

“We might spend a lot of time in a casino, but we’re really  _ not  _ the best people to be asking that.” She says, half laughing. “My idea of a fun night is building a computer to run increasingly illogical simulations of logic problems.”

“And mine is contemplating the chemical composition required to break the laws of physics and also the sound barrier.” Barry adds.

“That sounds mildly sadistic, at least a little cruel, and I agree it’d be a fun night.” Len says, pointing at Felicity, then he turns to Barry, “that one’s going to need more explanation.”

“Okay, so, I have theory.” Barry grins, shifting slightly as he prepares he’s spiel. Only slightly though, not wanting to wake Lisa. “So, the human body is a collection of atoms, right? Less broadly, it’s genetics. Our genetics determine everything, including how fast we’re moving. If we could just get in there and change how our genes function, we could move faster than sound. And we can do that, because genes are just chemicals. Everything in life is just chemicals. The hard part is finding the  _ right _ chemicals.” 

“You want to break into your genetic code because you can’t be bothered training for the track team?” Len rephrases, getting a laugh out of them both.

“Kinda.” Barry says. “But uh, I want to go a bit further than track. I think I could too, I’ve been narrowing the chemicals for years.”

“So why don’t you try it?” Len asks.

“We’re fifteen, no one would even sell us some of the chemicals he needs.” Felicity answers when Barry falters.

“Then steal them.” Len shrugs, like it’s just that simple. Felicity and Barry both go silent and Len raises an eyebrow. “What?” He prompts.

“Well we’ve thought about it.” Felicity admits. “There is this one lab in town that kinda deserves it. They’ve been doing a lot of experiments that are… actual murder. We just can’t prove it.” She explains it.

“A running theme in my life.” Barry mutters, then clears his throat and quickly moves on. “Greenwood also definitely has everything we need.”

“Then what’s the ‘but’?” Len prompts.

“We haven’t robbed anything before?” Barry answers, like it’s obvious.

“Unless you count the bar at the casino.” Felicity adds. “Which we don’t, because the bar is not a high-security building.”

“Well, lucky for you there’s an opening in my weekend. The perfect size for a heist.” Len grins.

* * *

They spend the next day planning in Felicity’s room, because Felicity’s mum is unlikely to notice them at all. Barry says ‘they’ but he really just plays with Lisa and tries not to stare. Felicity knows the digital security of Greenwood like the back of her hand, and she already has all the information there is to get on one of her homemade computers. Blueprints, lab stock lists, guard schedules. It’s a playground of information.

And watching Len weave that playground together is breathtaking.

Okay so it’s not Barry’s best metaphor. Or even a good one. But it’s really not his fault. He hasn’t met a smart bad boy before, he had no idea he was into that.

Felicity has the perfect idea, if the expressions she’s sending his way are an indication. 

He’s doomed.

“Heeey Lisa.” Felicity calls when the planning starts to wind down. “Want to come make lunch with me?”

“Won’t your mother object?” Len asks, not looking up from the blueprints he’s drawn out.

“She won’t notice.” Felicity assures, her smile going a little strained. If Len notices, he doesn’t say anything. If he notices the not so subtle ‘talk to him’ Felicity mouths at Barry, he doesn’t mention that either.

“So uh, anything I can help with?” Barry offers. He almost takes it back when Len raises his head.

“You can have a look over these stock lists if you want.” Len eventually says. “Felicity assures me this is the right lab, but we are getting these chemicals for you. Best you checked.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Barry says, jumping up. He’s not surprised to see Felicity is right, everything he needs and more is there. “If we need a quick getaway, I can make an explosion pretty easily with some of these.” He notes.

“How is an explosion a quick get away?” Len asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Distraction.” Barry shrugs, grinning when Len shakes his head

“So,” the older teen starts before silence can settle in, “this your ‘get jock quick scheme’?” Barry chokes before he realizes what Len  _ actually _ said. The way Len’s smirking, he definitely knows what he did. Is he flirting? Or just making a joke? He’s probably just making a joke.

“Uh, n-no. Definitely not jock material, even with technically not banned drugs.” He says, feeling proud when Len chuckles.

“What material are you then?” The teen asks. It’s probably not a serious question, at least not as serious as Barry hears it.

“I don’t know yet.” He says. “I like chemistry, I’ve studied a lot of it. But I think I’ll go into criminal investigation.” ‘Think’ he says, like he hasn’t planned this since they locked his father away.

“Odd choice, when you’re standing here planning a heist.” Len hums.

“I guess.” Barry shrugs. “But… my mother died when I was eleven. I was there, I told the police what happened, and they didn’t believe me. If I can stop another kid from dealing with that… if I can prove who really killed my mum…” He trails off and then clears his throat when he realizes he’s rambling. “What about you?” 

“I’ll probably be doing this all my life.” Len says, letting Barry move the subject along. 

“Why?” Barry asks before stumbling over himself to backtrack. “I just mean, why this? Because of your dad?”

“Well he didn’t give me much faith in cops either.” Len says with a smile that feels more like a scowl. “But it’s not just him. There’s a thrill to it. Maybe you’ll see tonight.”

“Maybe.” Barry returns, because if Len is flirting Barry definitely shouldn’t say ‘probably not’. (Not that Barry thinks Len  _ is  _ flirting, he’s probably not) (but also it’d be really cool if he was) (but he’s definitely not).

* * *

All things considered, the heist is going remarkable well.

They’re a trio of teenagers, fifteen and sixteen, they really should be having more trouble than this. Not that Barry’s actually  _ doing _ anything. Mostly just tip toeing between Felicity and Len as they watch for patrols or hack through security doors. 

“Here we are.” Len announces, quickly, as they approach the lab door. He pushes on the handle as he approaches but instead of opening the door he walks right into it. “It’s locked.” He notes, with a frown.

“What?” Felicity frowns. “That’s not possible, all the digital access doors were marked on the schematics. This door wasn’t marked.”

“That’s because,” Len starts, looking like he wants to kick the door as he steps away, “this door isn’t digital access. It needs a key.”

“What? Who even uses keys anymore, that’s so inefficient!” Felicity complains.

“Especially to us. I didn’t bring any lockpicks.” Len says.

“I did.” Barry says, jolting at the chance to actually be useful.

“You own lockpicks?” Len questions, seeming skeptical as Barry moves to the door.

“Never leave home without them.” The burnette grins, pulling the metal from his pocket. Barely a minute later, the lab door swings open.

“Would you look at that, he’s practiced.” Len comments. “What’s a boy next door like you doing picking locks?”

“Uh…” Barry’s brain goes blank, supplying nothing but the thought that Len wouldn’t be happy with Aunt Carol’s habit of locking doors. “Street cred?” He eventually manages.

“He needs all the help he can get.” Felicity adds, slipping past them to start raiding the room for supplies.

“I’ve noticed.” Len assures.

“And this is the opposite of the point.” Barry sighs.

By the time they’ve gotten all the chemicals they need, and then some, security’s on it’s way.

“We’ll be cornered before we can get out.” Felicity warns.

“Now would be the perfect time for a distraction.” Len says, giving Barry an expectant look.

“Huh? Oh! OH!” Barry grins as the meaning sticks in. “Hey Felicity, wanna simulate a meteor strike in the middle of a forest?” He asks, turning to his best friend who quickly shares his grin.

“Big boom, big fire. You know I do Bar.” 

Running away from a crumbled and burning floor of a really horrible building, Barry can’t help but laugh.

“You two terrify me.” Len claims, even though he’s grinning just as wide.

* * *

They get back to Felicity’s apartment with bags full of carefully contained chemicals and the knowledge they probably just messed up Greenwood for a while. Maybe forever. If only all of Barry’s murder-related justice was this easy.

“I think we can write that off as pretty dang successful.” Felicity grins, standing out the door to her apartment. If they were going to Barry’s, they’d need to sneak in and stay quiet. There’s no such precautions needed with the Smoak household, but Barry doesn’t think that makes it any better.

“Got what we wanted and more.” Len agrees. 

“Sounds like we should celebrate.” Felicity says.

“I’d be up for that.” Barry agrees.

“Could be fun.” Len says.

“Great! Pass me your bags.” The boys do without any fussing, something Barry immediately regrets when he spies the glint in Felicity’s eye. “Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to put these away, you two celebrate enough for three!” She orders, quickly heading into her apartment before the boys can protest.

“I think we’ve been had.” Len comments after a moment.

“I am so sorry.” Barry groans, burying his face in his hands. “Felicity’s just, uh,” he stumbles, not sure how to phrase ‘noticed I think you're cute and deciding to meddle’ without like,  _ actually  _ saying that.

“Trying to set us up on a post-heist date?” Len phrases it for him and Barry’s entire face goes red. He can’t manage to lie his way through a denial. “I don’t mind.” 

“You don’t?!” Barry asks, eyes wide and neck almost snapping with how quickly he looks up. Len shrugs.

“You’re cute, smart, and I just watched you set off an explosion. I definitely don’t mind.” 

“Felicity’s all those things too.” Barry notes, and then immediately tries to back track. Thankfully, Len just seems amused by his almost incomprehensible rambling.

“My interests are a little less female than Felicity.” He assures, managing to cut through Barry’s awkward. “So, shall we?” He asks, gesturing to the stairs they just walked up.

“Please.” And Barry, of course, immediately puts his foot in his mouth again. “I mean yes! Let’s!” 

They end up getting a takeaway chinese and a bottle of wine (bought by Len, because Barry has too much of a baby face to get away with it) before heading back to Felicity’s apartment building. Rather than going to her room, though, they head up to the roof and just… talk. Barry’s awkward at first, hyper aware of the fact that this is a  _ date _ but Len is easy to talk to and his smile’s so charming Barry can’t help but relax. The wine helps too.

“So Barry,” Len starts when the takeaway is finished and the wine’s not far off, “dream come true?” Barry almost chokes on the mouthful of wine he’d just taken, much to Len’s amusement.

“The date?” He clarifies, face flushed.

“I meant the heist.” Len claims. “But if I’m that good of a first date…” 

“The heist was great.” Barry answers, before Len can continue because wow that’s an embarrassment he doesn’t want to admit to. “And the explosion was definitely a dream come true. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Len prompts, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… it’s stupid.” Barry starts, shaking his head. He blames the wine for why he continues. “I always dreamed of like, walking away slowly from an explosion. Or making out in front of it. Which is not at all practical, especially today, but still… it’d have been fun.” 

“Might’ve been worth getting caught.” Len shrugs, smirking as he sips from the bottle of wine.

“Which part?” Barry asks, trying not to sound too hopeful. Len doesn’t even hesitate.

“Making out.” He says, placing the bottle down as Barry leans in closer. There’s a breath of air between them when Len’s hand comes up to Barry’s chest, stopping him. “This is a terrible idea.”

“Why? Barry asks, his stomach dropping like a stone. He thought things were going really well just a second ago.

“I go back in a day and a half, don’t want to break your heart.” Len says. It’s pretty counter productive, Barry thinks as the urge to kiss Len stupid just gets stronger.

“Might be worth it.” Barry whispers. This time, when he leans in, Len doesn’t stop him. Their lips touch and Len takes over completely. “Definitely worth it.” Barry corrects, when they finally have to break apart for air.

* * *

Barry is well aware that, as soon as he gets home, there’s going to be hell to pay. Aunt Carol is not going to be happy he snuck out and spent the weekend at Felicity’s, and she’s not going to believe any lie he feeds her. It’s not like he has any other friends. The sooner he gets home, the better it’ll be for him.

But at the same time, if he goes home he’s not going to get to see Len again.

“You are so smitten.” Felicity teases, smirking down at him from her bed. Barry is lying on her floor, staring up at the ceiling. 

“He’s really hot.” Barry admits, making her laugh. Lisa and Len went back to their hotel early in the morning, but Len had promised to be back later. And then he’d kissed Barry again. And Barry is still thinking about it.

“Barry Allen, lover of bad boys. I never would have guessed.” Felicity teases. 

“You can’t judge.” Barry argues.

“I am neither denying nor confirming that,” Felicity starts, “but I am saying we’re lucky Len’s gay. I don’t want to lose my best friend over a boy. Even if he is really pretty.” Barry laughs.

* * *

“I got you something, to remember me by.” Len says, holding out a box for Barry that night. They’re on the roof again, another bottle of wine between them. This one isn’t nearly so empty.

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” Barry says, barely restraining himself from tearing open the box to reveal the device inside. “You bought me a phone?” He asks.

“Bought is a strong word.” Len shrugs. “Hey, don’t give me that look, it’s brand new.”

“I guess that’s alright then.” Barry decides, though he’s still not really sure how he feels about it. Stealing from Greenwood had been a special case that he spent a month considering. 

“I’ve already put my number in there.” Len says, holding up a very similar looking phone. “Thought it’d be nice to keep in touch.”

“Keeping in touch sounds, really nice.” Barry tells him, smiling as he leans over to kiss Len again.

* * *

Barry and Len are so busy texting over the next week that Barry barely uses the chemicals they so dangerously stole. 

To be entirely fair, it’s not  _ just  _ Len’s fault. Barry spends several days locked in his room, using the time to double check his theories and calculations. Plus, trying to schedule a discreet chemical experimentation isn’t easy when you’re fifteen and leave all your chemicals at your best friends place.

Still, when the day finally comes, Felicity has to confiscate his phone. 

“I don’t want you getting distracted.” She explains. “Blowing up Greenwood labs was fine, blowing up my room is not.”

That’s a fair point. And one that works out when Barry calls her in, because his hand is vibrating at impossible speeds. It only lasts a minute before fading but that minute is enough. 

“I can prove it.” Barry breaths, staring at his hand now returned to normal speeds. “I just, I just need to figure out how to make the change permanent.”

Felicity hugs him so tight Barry’s not sure she didn’t bruise a rib.

* * *

Residing on the phones of one Barry Allen and one Leonard Snart, as well as on one very secure and very ahead of it’s time cloud service, are a series of photos.

Or, as Felicity prefers to call it, blackmail.

“I cannot believe you sent him that.” Barry groans, having just discovered the latest addition to this collection - a photo of him drooling and asleep on the couch after their movie night last night.

“At this point you really should be used to it.” Felicity teases. She’s really not wrong. 

“Can you please delete it?” Barry pleads. “I look stupid.”

“You look adorable.” Felicity argues. 

“That’s a no then.” Barry sighs.

“Oh stop complaining. Look what Rory sent in return.” She says. Barry scrolls down to have another look at the photo Len’s own Felicity, a friend that calls himself Rory, sent. It’s Len looking over a desk, planning out he’s next job. Len looks so good when he’s focusing.

“This is cheating.” Barry groans again, burying his face to hide his blush.

“And that, Bar, is why it’s called blackmail.”

* * *

_ Is everything alright? I haven’t heard from you all day. _

Barry stares at Len’s text for… he’s not actually sure how long it’s been. Thirty minutes? An hour? Hell, it might’ve been week. 

It probably hasn’t been a week.

Sighing, Barry rolls over to stare at the other wall of his room. He doesn’t really feel up for talking right now but he knows that isn’t fair. Barry has been avoiding questions about his obsession with going faster for months now and Len hasn’t even called him out on it, no matter how obvious Barry is. And today…

And today is the anniversary of his mother’s murder.

It’s not fair of him to shut Len out.

But Barry just doesn’t have the energy to type.

“Barry? What’s wrong?” Len’s picked up the phone before Barry even realises he’s hit call.

“Nothing’s, nothing’s wrong.” Barry assures, whispering. He’s hyper aware of how thin the walls are, of the fact his Aunt could wake up any minute.

“You’re a terrible liar Bar.” Len says, just as softly. Barry manages a sad smile at the teasing, then he takes a deep breath.

“My mum died tonight.” He admits. “Not, not tonight tonight. When I was eleven.”

“I remember.” Len says. “I’m so sorry Barry, it must be a bad date for you. Are you alright?”

“I should be.” Barry mumbles. “I mean, I’m so close to proving what really happened. But I’m not there yet, you know, and I just...I feel like I should be doing more.” 

“Tell me what happened, I might be able to help.” Len offers.

“You can’t.” Barry says, but he tells Len anyway. Waking up, the man in the lightning, his father being imprisoned.

“I remember hearing about that.” Len says, when Barry’s finished.

“Yeah.” Barry sighs. “It was… pretty big news in Central City. That’s uh, sort of why I never mentioned my last name. I mean I wasn’t, I wasn’t trying to hide it from you or anything. I just… wasn’t too upset that it never came up.”

“It’s fine Barry.” Len assures. “I’m not mad. I’m just worried about you.”

They talk for hours, and when Barry wakes up in the morning he’s surprised. He’s never been able to sleep on that night before.

* * *

Two days later, Barry shoots Len a ‘good morning’ text and never gets a response.

“What a jerk!” Felicity huffs a week later, when Barry still hasn’t heard anything. “How could he ghost you like that?!”

“We don’t know he’s ghosting me.” Barry mumbles. “I mean… he told us about his dad.” He didn’t really. Not in explicit terms. But with the experience they have, the vague explanations are enough. Especially considering how they met.

“...I know.” Felicity sighs, sitting next to him. “It’s just nicer to think he’s being a jerk.”

“Yeah.” Barry agrees. “I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Felicity promises, resting an arm around Barry’s shoulders.

* * *

They know about Len’s father. He probably just broke Len’s phone. That’s all. Len’s fine.

It’s got nothing to do with Barry telling Len the truth about his mother's death.

Right?

* * *

The park is completely empty. Barry has all the room in the world to run, and if he’s done this right he’ll need it.

“Barry are you sure this is safe?” Felicity asks, frowning and clutching the timer tightly. 

“It’s safer than trying it in your room.” Barry says.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Felicity frowns.

“I’ll be fine Felicity.” Barry says, rolling his eyes. “I’ve been working on these calculations for weeks.”

“I don’t really trust calculations made out of heartbreak.” Felicity mumbles but Barry ignores her. They’ve been having this argument for months now - if Barry’s chemical improvements are because he doesn’t have any distractions or because he’s running away from his emotions.

“Ready to time me?” Barry asks as he feels the chemicals take effect. Digestion isn’t the quickest method, but Felicity had immediately shot down injections.

“I’m ready.” Felicity confirms, not sounding particularly happy about it. Barry takes a few steps back and then, when he swears he can feel his cells vibrating, he runs.

Within two seconds, Barry has run 500 metres. Turning around, he makes it back to Felicity in one.

Then the speed vanishes from his system and Barry trips. He blacks out before he hits the ground.

* * *

Barry wakes up in the hospital, his wrist in a cast and Felicity beside him.

“What happened?” He asks, voice rough.

“You passed out!” Felicity answers. He thinks she’d punch his shoulder, if he weren’t down an arm. “And you broke your arm, in three places.”

“Ouch.” Barry sighs.

“Not ouch. You probably don’t feel any of it because of the painkillers you’re on.” She says, her red eyes becoming watery again. “I thought you were dead Barry.” She manages.

“I’m fine Fe.” Barry assures, trying to move his arms to assure her and immediately regretting it.

“No you aren’t!” Felicity snaps. “The bone broke through the skin Barry. There was so much blood, and you weren’t waking up, and we were so far anyway from everyone.”

“I’m sorry.” Barry says, as genuine as he can. Felicity looks terrified.

“You can’t do this again.” She says, wiping her eyes. “I can’t lose you.”

“Felicity, I-”

“I know.” She cuts him off. “I know what it means to you, I know you can’t stop trying. But promise me you won’t test it, okay? Not until you  _ know _ it’s safe. You’re no good to your dad if you’re dead.” She bursts into tears again, clutching at his chest. Barry carefully raises his good arm to wrap around her.

“I promise.” He says whispers into hair. “I won’t do it again.”

* * *

They go to different colleges.

They don’t  _ want _ to, but they have different majors and they want the best school they can get. As smart as they both are, they get their first choice.

“You be careful out there.” Felicity orders as they stand at the station. Her train is in five minutes, his is in fifteen. 

“I’ll be fine Fe.” Barry promises, rolling his eyes. Everything he owns is tucked into three bags total. Felicity has managed four, because she doesn’t overpack bags like he does.

“You find yourself a friend that can babysit you.” Felicity says. “But not a best friend, that’s my job.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Barry laughs. 

“Yes you do.” Felicity argues, then pulls him in for a tight hug.

“You be careful too, okay?” Barry whispers. 

“I will.” Felicity promises. “Call me when you’re on your train, so I know you caught it!” She orders, letting go as her train comes in.

“WIll do.” Barry promises. 

He sends her a text forty five minutes later, because he was too busy missing her already that he forgot to get to his platform.

_ That’s a load of shit Bar _ . Felicity tells him.

They text for the rest of Felicity’s train ride. Not on the phone that Len stole for Barry years ago, but one he earnt himself by working terrible hours at a fast food place. There’s only three contacts on his phone - Felicity, Iris, and Joe. There used to only be two but Felicity deleted Len’s number and Iris sent him her number in their occasionally monthly-occasionally yearly email. Quality over quantity, Barry tells himself a little bitterly.

He thinks it a little more genuinely, when he steps off his train and finds someone waiting for him.

“Joe?” He frowns, confused.

“Hey Bar.” The older man greets, smiling.

“What are you doing here?” Barry asks, laughing a little as Joe pulls him into a hug. 

“Well, you said your aunt couldn’t drop you off and I was free.” He says. “No kid should go to college alone.”

“Thanks.” Barry says, more touched than he knows how to express. 

“Got to be honest, I was a little worried I missed you.” Joe teases, taking one of Barry’s bags without even needing to ask. “Iris said your train was meant to get in half an hour ago.”

“Yeah… I was late.” Barry admits, following Joe out to the car.

“Good thing I came to get you then, otherwise you wouldn’t make it to school this semester.” Joe claims, throwing Barry’s bag into the back as they laugh. 

“I’d be more insulted if you weren’t right.” Barry laughs. They catch up on the way to his college. Or Joe catches him up while Barry gives vague and sometimes false answers about his time in LA, before shifting the focus back to Joe. 

He’s mostly expecting Joe to leave when they get to the dorms. He doesn’t. He helps Barry settle in and then takes him out for ‘celebratory dinner’ and it’s probably the fanciest thing Barry’s ever eaten.

That night Barry can’t help but wonder if this is what he’d have done with his dad, if things had gone a little differently.

He can’t help but wonder if this is what he’d have done with his mum, too.

* * *

College is a new experience for Barry.

Not because of college itself. No, Barry is still a nerd and still annoying his teachers by being late and bored. He doesn’t even make any friends while he’s there. 

But at college, there is no Aunt Carol. There’s never going to be an Aunt Carol again. And some days Barry has trouble remembering that. Has trouble believing that. Other days, he can’t help but grin as he opens his bedroom window.

He calls Joe at least once a week now, because the man insisted they keep in touch properly this time. Once a month he goes down to Central City to have dinner with them, sometimes twice if he can manage it. He and Iris start talking more again and find they have a similar taste in terrible horror movies, which leads to many a movie night that Joe’s happy to skip. 

It’s nice.

Barry doesn’t tell them about LA because he wants to keep it that way. He doesn’t tell them about his aunt, or practically growing up in that casino. He doesn’t even mention Felicity, because so much of her is wrapped up in things he doesn’t want them to know.

And then he has other reasons not to talk about Felicity.

“Hey Bar, you ready for this?” Iris grins, dropping into the couch next to him. Barry can’t help but startle, quickly locking his phone.

“Yeah.” He says, managing a smile. “Let’s get this started.”

“You’re a terrible liar Barry.” Iris says, her expression suddenly serious. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s, it’s nothing. Really.” Barry assures. “Just had a… a fight, with a friend at school.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Iris frowns, shifting forward.

“Really Iris, it’s nothing.” Barry repeats.

“It’s clearly not nothing, you’re upset.” Iris argues. “Come on Bar, you know you can always talk to me.” Barry hesitates but… well, he hasn’t got anyone else to talk to. With a sigh, Barry shifts so he’s facing Iris.

“She’s a close friend of mine and she’s… she’s fallen in with a bad crowd.” He explains. “I’m worried about her. But she doesn’t want to hear it.”

“She’ll come around Barry.” Iris assures. 

“What if it’s too late?” Barry argues. “This group she’s with… she could get herself into some serious trouble.”

“Then you just have to be around to get her out of it.” Iris smiles, bumping his shoulder. “You can’t save someone that doesn’t want to be saved, but as soon as she’s ready I’m sure you’ll be her hero.”

“I guess…” Barry says, managing a small smile at the assurance.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Iris guesses.

“She just… brought up some bad memories when we fought about it.” Barry almost winces. Shit. He didn’t mean to say that.

“Bad memories?” Iris presses, concerned. Now he  _ has _ to explain.

“I just… there was this guy I liked a while ago and I did some stupid stuff to impress him. Then something… happened and I just, never heard from him again. Fe, she compared the stuff she’s doing now to that. It was a low blow.” He explains, as vaguely as possible.

“Sounds it.” Iris frowns. “Are you okay Barry?”

“I’m fine, it was a while ago.” Barry brushes her off. “It just struck a nerve.”

A nerve he’s not actually over, if he’s honest with himself. Even as decade old feelings for Iris start to resurface, part of his heart still belongs to Len. He thinks it always will.

“This,” Iris starts as she jumps, “calls for ice-cream.”

“We already have heaps of junk food for the movies.” Barry points out.

“But we  _ don’t  _ have ice-cream.” Iris argues. “Come on Bar, ice-cream’s the best cure for an aching heart.”

Well, Barry concedes hours later, she’s not wrong.

* * *

It’s been months since Barry said those fateful words.

_ “I don’t think we should see each other for a little while.” _

Felicity hadn’t had a response so he’d hung up. 

They haven’t spoken since.

So many times his finger has hovered over the call button, so many times he’s almost sent a text.

Now Felicity’s name is on his phone screen and it’s ringing.

“Felicity?” He asks. “Is everything alright?” Rather than answer, he hears her sob. Shit. Barry jumps up from his bed, already shoving clothes into a bag. “What happened?”

“He’s… Cooper.” Felicity manages. “He’s dead.”

“Are you in your dorm?” He doesn't hear a response for a moment before he hears a quick ‘yes’. She must have nodded. “Alright.” Barry says. “I’ll be there in a couple hours okay, you just stay there.”

It’s the first train he doesn’t miss.

* * *

Felicity hugs him tight before he’s even finished knocking. He gently guides her to her bed and lets her cry against his shoulder until she’s ready to explain. Then she tells him everything - the virus, the FBI, Cooper taking the fall. 

And Cooper being found dead. Suicide.

“You were right.” Felicity sobs against his shoulder. “You were right, it was dangerous and I was stupid and I should have listened to you.”

“No.” Barry says firmly. “There’s no being right about this Felicity, and no being wrong. Nothing could have prevented this.” 

“I could’ve. If I’d handed myself in.” Felicity argues.

“You don’t know that.” Barry says. “Maybe they would have arrested you both.”

She doesn’t believe him, he knows she doesn’t because he still blames himself for his mother’s murder. But she’s too tired to argue.

The next day Felicity dyes her hair blonde and makes a vow to herself. Barry watched her change and he’s still not sure he recognizes her.

But her shoulders look a little lighter today, and that’s what matters.

* * *

When they finally graduate, Felicity and Barry take a trip to Coast City. They go fishing, because they’ve never gone fishing before (Felicity makes jokes about her absent dad the whole time, Barry makes jokes about his imprisoned one. They probably sound crazy to the people near them, but it helps). They spend one night in a casino and Felicity leaves with more money than Barry, because she’s still a lot better at card counting. They get drunk on the roof of their hotel building and scream at the world just because they can.

It’s a nice little break. A quiet reclaiming of their youth, spent so long under the roofs of people that didn’t care about them.

“We could stay another week.” Barry suggests, on the last week of their trip. They’re sitting at the end of a pier, a barely touched bottle of wine between them.

“No we can’t Bar, we’ve got lives to get back to.” Felicity sighs, laying back against the wood of the pier. Barry follows her and shuts his eyes. For a moment, he’s back in Felicity’s room. Then he opens them and see’s the endless sky above them.

“Is it weird that I miss being a teenager?” He asks. “I don’t… I don’t miss my aunt. But sometimes I want to be fifteen again, hanging out in your room and talking about the future.”

“It’s so much easier than living it.” Felicity sighs. They lay like that for a moment, remembering a past that wasn’t all that great and wondering if the future will be more of the same.

“I’m moving back to Central City.” Barry says. Felicity already knows his plans, but it’s nice to lay them out again. Makes him think he knows what he’s doing. “Joe says I can move in with him while I study criminal investigation. Until I can find a place of my own.”

“That’s good of him.” Felicity says.

“I still haven’t told him about LA. Or Iris.” Barry admits. “I haven’t even mentioned you.”

“That’s probably a good thing.” Felicity hums. “We’d never be able to keep our stories straight.” That gets them both laughing before they slip into silence again. This time, it’s Felicity that breaks it.

“I want a fresh start.” She says, like she’s been saying for a while now. “I’m going to move to Starling City. Can’t get more fresh than a whole new city, right? Maybe I’ll get a job with some big company, like Queen Consolidated.”

“Then you can become friends with one of the Queen siblings and become a trophy wife.” Barry says, laughing when Felicity shoves him.

“I’m way too good to become a trophy wife.” She claims.

“Okay fine, you meet them and  _ I _ become the trophy wife.” Barry offers.

“Much better.” 

They spend their last night in Coast City laughing.

* * *

“You know I was kidding about the trophy wife thing, right?” Barry asks, when Felicity starts joking that she’s now Oliver Queen’s personal IT assistant.

“Oh don’t worry, he’s not our type.” Felicity claims. “He’s pretty and he’s definitely a bad boy, but he’s not that smart. He told me he spilled coffee on a bullet ridden laptop.”

“...And he thinks you believed that?”

* * *

_ Teddy Bear: So I hear you have a… mysterious police case in Star city _

_ Tech Support: You really shouldn’t get involved _

_ Teddy Bear: I’ve already called in sick _ _  
_ _ Teddy Bear: I’d already be on the train but I was running late _

_ Tech Support: Of course you were _ _  
_ _ Tech Support: Well, when you get here, I’m invoking The Joe and Iris Rules _

_ Teddy Bear: That’s a terrible codename _ _  
_ _ Teddy Bear: Do you mean the ‘what terrible childhood in LA i have no idea what you’re talking about, and i definitely don’t have a best friend’ rules? _

_ Tech Support: You can not judge me on codenames, yours is worse _ _  
_ _ Tech Support: But yes _ _  
_ _ Tech Support: I love Ollie to bits but he is super paranoid _ _  
_ _ Tech Support: He’ll probably think you’re a sleeper agent sent to kill him if we tell him we’re friends _

_ Teddy Bear: You looooooove him _

_ Tech Support: I will hurt you _

* * *

“You weren’t kidding about Oliver.” Barry comments at the Queen’s party. He and Felicity aren’t dancing, more swaying. They went to every school function together, Felicity knows he can’t dance.

“Oh I wasn’t.” Felicity agrees. “But you haven’t seen the half of it.”

“You’re kidding right? I think he wanted to throw me out the window when he came in.” 

“Trust me Bar, it gets worse.”

* * *

“So. You were right.” Barry says, calling Felicity as he walks up to his lab. 

“I usually am.” Felicity claims. “What are we talking about here?”

“Oliver.” Barry clarifies, smiling. 

“Oh, yeah. That’s why.” Felicity chuckles. “You get to see the particle accelerator turn on?” She asks.

“Nope.” Barry sighs. “I wasn’t even late this time, Iris made sure of it. But, that’s Allen luck for you.” 

“I think it’s just Barry luck.” Felicity turns on.

“Ahaha, you’re so funny.” Barry rolls his eyes as he pushes open his lab. “Oh, by the way I left Oliver a hanukkah present.”

“He doesn’t celebrate hanukkah, he’s not Jewish.” Felicity says.

“Really? How’s that going to work with picking a wedding venue?” Barry asks, then laughs at Felicity’s squeak.

“You jerk! I’m not, that’s not! Barry!” She flails, looking for something to say that won’t clue Oliver in on their conversation.

“There’s no shame in liking bad boys Fe. Me, I like them a little more evil genius but Oliver’s biceps could probably convince me.” He teases.

“I will hack into your alarm clock and make sure it goes off as 3.33 every morning for a month.” Felicity hisses the threat but Barry just laughs again.

“Tell me if he likes the present, I should catch up on some work. Night Felicity.”

“Night Barry.” Felicity huffs. “I promise you, you wouldn’t be sleeping well.” She hangs up and Barry moves to his computer, flicking on the coverage of STAR Labs.

He doesn’t get any work done.

Instead he watches as the chemicals on his shelves start to defy the laws of physics, a mix of the chemicals he uses for work and the ones for his speed serum. 

Barry finds out exactly what his serum was missing that night.

Lightening.

**Author's Note:**

> This took like, a week to write and so I have now seen all of season 1 of The Flash
> 
> There are so many episodes I want to rewrite for this AU, please tell me if you want more of this AU because I will _do it_. And if you do want more, chronological order or inspiration order is the other question.
> 
> Also hey, if you like my writing maybe [check this out](https://boredomsmuse.tumblr.com/post/626749591328620544/commissions) pretty please?


End file.
